


XBurb

by Sniperdoodle



Category: Homestuck, X-Men Evolution
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mutants, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Refrences to everything else MARVEL
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 15:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sniperdoodle/pseuds/Sniperdoodle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts when future-you rescues present-you from a butcher's knife and sends a mob after you for being a mutant.</p><p>Smooth move future-you.</p><p>But, after the mob chases you for four blocks, a bald dude in a wheelchair stops them and invites you to his mutant school. It's supposed to be safe, but you have your doubts.</p><p>But after saying yes, you're dragged away to this fabulous school. You seem to falling for the Spanish boy as you make friends with the girl who talks to ghosts and the blind girl who draws on everything with chalk. There's also the lovable dork, the author, the witch, and your cousin who happens to be a mutant too to your surprise. You're now stuck here with these crazies who you may be starting to get used to, and your plans for getting out of here start disappearing.</p><p>It would be better to start at the beginning when your shades fell straight off your face.</p><p>BEING CONTINUED BY ANIMECSCFUN1 ON FANFICTION, UNDER XBURB: THE CONTINUATION</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The End of my Days at the Hands of a Butcher’s Knife

**Author's Note:**

> So, in this crossover, all of the Homestuck characters are mutants. I did not add the entire cast because I thought that it was a ridiculous amount of mutants. Seriously, 32 mutants?! Whoever thought of that amount of mutants before we even got Cerbro to it's final state is ridiculous. We're settling for 21 mutants instead. 21 is a more reasonable amount of mutants. Well, 20 before adding Dave. But whatever. 21 Plus the Mutants in the series. A very reasonable amount of mutants.  
> The story starts before X-Men Evolution starts, with just Jean, Scott, Logan, and Ororo on the team with Xavier.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> BEING CONTINUED BY ANIMECSCFUN1 ON FANFICTION, UNDER XBURB: THE CONTINUATION

I had dropped my glasses.

No big deal. My shades were just on my face 24-7 for no apparent reason. My eyes weren’t sensitive to the sun. I wasn’t just some prick who thought it would by cool to relive the words of Mike Posner. So I wore them for no apparent reason, right?

Wrong, hundred percent wrong. You would be so wrong that left is right and right would be left by national standards upsetting all of the Brits in England. 

I wear them because my eyes were the reason I got chased out of the last eight towns I had hunkered down in while I was on the Magical Strider Mystery Tour; traveling through the USA totally not on the run while every shitty traveling song ever made by an artist who had never even thought a country song in their life played ironically in the background as the montage of my life rolls by. People mistook me for devils, demons, and anything that was evil just because my eyes were red. They often guessed that I was a mutant too, but that’s right so I can’t tell them off for that.

Where was I?

Oh right, the glasses.

They fell of my face.

Totally like, just slide off into the abyss of the street.

For no apparent reason. Apart from gravity. 

Fucking gravity.

That was pretty bad because I was talking to a butcher who was planning on selling me a pig for a cheep price. It would have been shitty meat but I was hungry and I already had so much McDonalds I wondered why I was not just a giant fat-filled Dave ball rolling in the street crushing everyone beneath me with my gelatinous fatness.

So I was talking to the butcher and the glasses fell clean off my face. The butcher gasped and before I knew it is was a foot over without moving my feet and a butcher’s knife was imbedded in the wall directly behind my head. Someone was touching my shoulder and when I looked up I saw my face.

A normal person would have freaked out if you were saved from being cleaved in the head by yourself, but this was pretty normal for me. Saving myself was no big deal since the time stream was practically my own personally yo-yo that I could play around with. I had a superb memory and a perfect sense of time so often when I was in trouble; I would make a note to come back and save my sorry ass. I usually did that after I got out of trouble because I worried that if I waited to long, sometime in the future I will disappear from society because if forgot to go and save my sorry ass some time ago.

This time however, it was different. My future self was wearing a uniform. Like a super-hero uniform. He had a red cog shape on his chest and a black X on the belt buckle of his yellow belt. I really didn’t think that I would ever be wearing something as stupid as that, but when I look back, past me did some really idiotic things. 

Future me took the time of everyone’s momentary shock of this kid being saved by himself to grab my glasses and handed them to me. Then, before traveling back to his present, future me took the moment to do a really idiotic and not in any way at all ironic thing.

“He’s a mutant!” Future me shouted before bending the time stream and jumping back to his present. I take that back-future me is an idiot.

I got up and ran for my life. The mob-not yet in mob form-only took a second to act and turned into a mob to begin chasing my sorry ass. I would tell you all of the exciting shit that happened but it was in fact not exciting at all but it was a load of shit. I was running away from an angry mob-not much excitement in that as you would expect. You’re just running and they’re a couple meters behind you getting close, but then getting far away again, getting close, then far away, close, far, close, far, it was some really boring shit if you ask me.

The actually interesting stuff happened when I took a wrong turn and ended up in an alleyway. I began to panic but then I remembered that I was pretty fucking awesome at parkour, if I do say so myself. However, I didn’t have to Spiderman my way out there because the angry mob stopped, froze, as if I got the remote from Click and pressed paused. 

Any normal person would begin to freak out, but than again I was no normal person. I just got saved by myself, so this wasn’t that weird. It was kinda like that one time I stopped time and it took me a couple hours to figure out how to get it going again. Maybe I had done that again without realizing it. 

After contemplating about what I should do, I decided to release the poor suckers and give myself a real parkour challenge like the asshat gentleman I am. “Move,” I told the crowd and time itself flicking my wrist in a Spiderman sort of way. Yet they didn’t move. “Move,” I said again with a little more force. It didn’t work.

Okay, I will admit, I began to panic a little bit. No one wanted to be trapped inside the time stream forever and ever with nothing to do but pull unsuspecting pranks on innocent people in hopes that when time starts moving again they get the worst surprise of their life.

“It’s okay,” I heard the voice of a man say in my head. The voice in my head was weird, but his voice was calming. I quickly settled down when the crowded moved again, yet not towards me. They moved in the opposite direction like zombies looking for brains expect that this time the zombies were heading back to the meaningless life of an asshole. Once they were all gone, a bald man in a wheel chair was left in their midst.

“Wow, you must be a really devoted rioter,” I told the dude in the wheelchair. I knew that he wasn’t apart of the riot but a Strider never missed a shot to pour some really stupid and ironic joke out of their mouths.

The man smiled before moving his wheelchair forward a bit, “I understand the joke, but please allow me to introduce myself.” The man had the same voice as the dude who spoke to me inside my head. I would have made a weird joke about me dreaming or that I was going crazy deserted on a deserted island but I wanted to hear what this dude wanted to say and fast. He was most likely a telepath and I didn’t like any one snooping around inside my head. 

“I am Professor Charles Xavier,” he continued. “And a run a school for mutants.”

“And this will be somewhere along the lines of ‘join my school, you’ll be safe’,” I guessed. “I’ve heard that before. They just wanted to suppress my powers and try to turn me into a vegetable.”

“You are right about the first part,” Xavier continued. “But not about the second. I would like you to join my school Dave Strider. You will be safer there than out here on the streets. However, at my school we celebrate our mutant powers, and I want you to accelerate your knowledge in using them to become better at controlling them and using them for good.”

“I’m not a bad guy,” I retorted.

“I understand that,” Xavier nodded his had and he put his hands together. “But even though you have a better mastery over your powers than most mutants when I first come across them, you are still learning. That was demonstrated just a moment ago when you thought that you had stopped time and tried to get it to move again. That is apart of your powers that you do not understand fully how to control, and I will help you get there.”

I paused for a moment. Xavier didn’t sound half bad and neither did his school, there was just another couple things I had to check.

“You have cable?” I checked.

“Yes,” Xavier answered.

“Internet?”

“Definitely.”

“Indoor plumbing?”

“Of course.”

“Apple juice?” 

Xavier just chuckled, “You must have been on the run for a long time.”

“Yeah, but you could have just read my mind to get that,” I answered. “So do you have the apple juice or not?”

“We do have apple juice,” Xavier confirmed.

“Sweet, let’s get a move on.”


	2. I Get my Fucking AJ and some other shit I wasn’t expecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave finally gets his apple juice and some other things he wasn't expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! The second installment of the XBurb series! ley's just say, I was not as happy with the middle potion of this chapter. I love the beginning and the end, but the middle killed me. I am sorry. I am blaming it on my lacking ability to understand and write the Alpha Kids' personalities. I am sorry if I slaughtered Dirk's personality. Well, enjoy! The next chapter should be way better!

We flew to the mansion in a private jet that Xavier knew how to fly.

“You have a pilot’s license?” I questioned him looking around the jet.

“Yes,” Xavier replied.

“They let a paraplegic fly a jet?” I restated the question.

“Yes,” Xavier repeated the answered.

“Fucking miracles,” I huffed trying to lean further back into my seat. So I was on a plane flying to a mysterious school for mutants, and the pilot of the plane happened to have no control of his legs along with the power to read minds. If someone came up to me and asked me how I was, I would have said that I was fucking dandy, but then Xavier over there in his wheelchair and his pilot’s license proudly pinned on his tweed jacket would have been like ‘That’s a fucking lie!’. 

I was uncomfortable the whole flight, sitting in silence and trying not to think about something stupid so I didn’t make a bad impression on Xavier. Of course, I probably already did with the thought of not making a bad impression floating around in my head.

I was also trying not to think about my escape plan. I was just planning to go to the mansion to make the bald dude happy then skip out during the night after getting a shower and liberating all of the AJ. I was better off on my own, and flying to a mansion full of mutants was not ‘on my own’. If Xavier got wind of my plan, I may just be put on full lock-down or some other shit thing to keep me from escaping the place he was taking me too. 

The mansion was a bright beacon of freedom as we touched down in an underground hanger. That meant that I could go and my fucking AJ along with the fact that I would be out of Xavier’s eye for a while. There was just one problem. WE FUCKING TOUCHED DOWN IN AN UNDERGROUND HANGER.

“Shit, underground hangers?” I said as I hopped off the plane. “You sure you aren’t selling me a one-way ticket to being tested on?”

“No Dave,” Xavier rolled down the ramp off the plane. “Here at the school we would rather keep the existence of mutants a secret than reveal mutant kind to the world.”

“Well, all the towns I’ve been chased out seem to know their shit about mutants,” I replied looking around the large metal room.

“You have been hiding in small towns,” Xavier answered rolling towards an elevator. I followed after him in a coolkid strut to entertain him in his lecture. “They, much like mutants, would rather keep to themselves than tell the government about how they live their lives.”

“And if we don’t tell the government, then we won’t have to be strapped to any machine with pin and needles sticking out of our arms,” I guessed.

“Exactly,” Xavier replied as the elevator opened. I followed him out into a hallway that looked a lot like a mansion, a polar opposite to the cold metal walls of the underground hanger. 

I followed Xavier out to a type of balcony overlooking a front entrance, with grand staircases coming straight down through the center of the room. It was an open area, and mutants passed exercising their powers. It didn’t look like the layer of a crazy man who tested on mutants, because kids my age walked around like they were normal.

“So,” I started a question. “So this actually isn’t a place to test on mutants?”

“I am a mutant myself,” Xavier reminded me, though his powers of telepathy were still present on my mind.

“Yeah, so who many mutants do you have stuffed into this place?” I asked.

“Including myself, Ororo, Logan and the students,” Xavier began. “Twenty-five. And you make twenty-six.”

“And by students, you mean that we get to spent all day messing around with our powers?” I asked, the idea of this place becoming more inviting.

“We do spend some part of our days learning to control and expand our mutant powers,” Xavier began. “But the students here also attend school at Midtown High.”

“Uhg, school,” I groaned. 

“Yes,” Xavier continued. “We can get you checked in later in the week after you settled down.”

“There’s one problem though,” I began to explain. “I don’t exist.” 

“I am sure that you exist,” Xavier informed me as if I didn’t know that already.

“No, no! I already know that I fucking exist!” I started to explain. “But according to the government I don’t.”

“So you faked your own death?” Xavier was curious about my disappearance from the world. 

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Got I planed it out months in ahead and traveled back in time three times. One so I could shoot the bullet. The second time to get myself out of there, and the third time to put in place the fake dead body.”

“Why would you do such a thing?” Xavier questioned me. 

“Why don’t you read my mind?” I questioned Xavier.

“I do not tread where I am unwanted,” Xavier explained. “If you would like to keep things personal, I completely understand that.”

“Life just seemed easier if you didn’t exist,” I began to explain. “No school, no ties to family, no responsibilities.”

“Ah, and you would rather up keep the idea that you are dead to the world,” Xavier understood the gist of it.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “So where’s the fucking kitchen?”

“Wouldn’t you like the tour first?” Xavier asked me.

“No, I was promised AJ and I will get my fucking AJ if it’s the end of me!” I announced as I stormed down the stairs and followed the elite Apple Juice detector in my stomach down various hallways, finally ending up in the kitchen.

“Fuck yeah, Apple Juice time,” I announced proudly beginning to rip through the kitchen. “Now where would a telepathic mutant hide his AJ?”

“Here?” a silky voice from behind asked as the fridge door was enveloped in black energy and a jug of apple was drawn out with the same black energy. I followed the flight of the AJ to a girl my age with stark blond hair, lavender eyes, and a grim smirk on her face. She carried two black needles in her hands that glowed with the same black energy. 

“I think it would be wise to inform you that said telepathic mutant like to keep all his beverages slightly cooled in the fridge,” the girl snarked.

“Thanks, after the trash can the fridge was my next best guess,” I informed her. 

“Rose Lalonde,” the girl introduced herself using the needles and black energy to coordinate the landing of the AJ on the island counter in the kitchen. “And you must be a new student here.”

“Dave Strider,” I introduced myself. “Time traveler.”

“Hhm, I do not think I have ever heard of a mutant with time traveling powers,” Rose inquired as I grabbed a cup out of a cupboard and began to pour myself a cup of the nectar of the gods: Apple juice.

“Yeah, it’s a pretty cool power. Traveling back and forward in time to stop myself from being killed,” I elaborated on the subject. “I can stop time also, but that takes more work.”

“So I guess that you have stopped time before on accident and then proceeded to flip the fuck out?” Rose guessed.

“Whoa! Fucking read my mind. Are you another telepath?” I asked Rose, kinda freaked out with the idea that there would be more than one telepath in the mansion.

“No,” Rose replied. “Professor Xavier has just been teaching me the finer points of therapy.”

“He’s a therapist too? The best in the business then,” I guessed.

“He does not do it as an occupation,” Rose explained. “He runs the school instead.”

“Then what can you do if you’re not reading minds?” I asked.

“I am able to control magic,” Rose produced her needles again. “Dark or light, I am able to control it. I prefer dark though, much more my style.”

“I can see that,” I agreed. “So what are the knitting needles for if you can control magic?”

“They simple help me channel the magical energy so it does not consume me unlike the last time,” Rose explained dropping a major hint that I really didn’t fucking care about at the time. 

“Where’d you get them?” I looked at the needles.

“Professor X has various connections,” Rose explained. “He procured these from a doctor friend of his. I had a few lesson under him. He’s what you could call strange.”

“At least he wasn’t a giant burly man telling you that you’re a witch and inviting you to a school where there is a greater chance of dying than at home with your abusive uncle and aunt,” I answered.

“Yes, quiet so,” Rose agreed. “Adventures at a school named after a skin blemish on a pig seems rather drab,”

“I have to say Rose,” I began to give out a rare compliment. “You’re pretty ironic for someone I’ve just met.”

“And you have no idea what ironic means,” Rose replied. “But yes, talking with you is a more entertaining talk with many other applicants at this school.” 

“So, what other idiots attend this school?” I decided to ask based on rose’s statement. 

“They are not all idiots,” Rose started. “Some are complete and udder buffoons, but not all. Some mutants here are quiet smart.”

“Hhm, so what’s the dish on the other students?” I then asked. “Cool, not cool, idiot, smart, homosexual, heterosexual.”

“Hhm, sexualities are important to you Mr. Strider?” Rose questioned.

“I just wanna know which guys I can hit on and which guys I can’t hit on,” I openly replied.

“Ah, yes well, there are twenty-one other students that attend here, so it may take a period of time to explain their entire lives to you,” Rose replied. 

“I’ve got all the time on my hands,” I punned. 

“Understood, but where to start?” Rose pondered. 

“Start with the gay ones,” I replied.

“Not everyone I assume that is gay has come out of the closet yet though so it will be suspicious if you start to try and woo them,” Rose answered. 

“I will then join them in the closet and we can have in Narnia,” I answered. “Just tell me so I can get in a ride on Aslan’s back before the wooing starts.”

Rose opened her mouth and was about to begin, but was sadly cut off by an adult entering the room. 

“Yes, there you are Rose,” the woman said.

“What do you need Ororo?” Rose replied.

“Rororo?” I tried to say her name. 

Ororo laughed at my failed attempt, “Mostly students call me Storm. You must be the new mutant Xavier found-Dave Strider.”

“The one and only,” I answered. 

“Well, someone is looking for you as well Dave,” Storm informed me. “Xavier said that you and the student in question are related.”

“That’s probably just some confusion,” I dismissed. I took a long sip of my apple juice as Storm continued to talk.

“Are you sure? Because Dirk confirmed that you two were cousins,” Storm continued.

I spit my apple juice on the table and exclaimed, “Dirk? Here?”

“Yes, Dirk Strider,” Rose repeated. “You two do share the last name, do you not?”

“But he’s back in Texas!” I argued.

“Dirk’s been at the school even before I showed up when I was twelve Dave,” Rose informed me. 

I stared blankly at the wall opposite of me and let the fact that my cousin who thought I was dead was here at the school as Storm looked at me worried and Rose poured herself a glass of apple juice.

However, Rose did not pour the apple juice for herself. She then waved the cup of apple juice under my chin until I snapped out of it and snatched the cup out of Rose’s hand like lightning. 

“Wonderful reflexes Mr. Strider,” Rose congratulated me as I chugged the glasses of apple juice. “Those will do you good in the long run of being a mutant here at Xavier’s Institute.”

“How?” I asked, putting Dirk off to the side for a new found curiosity. 

“The Danger Room,” Rose answered.

“Sounds dangerous,” I retorted.

“And John’s pranks on the side,” Rose added.

“The pranks sound more dangerous than the Danger Room,” I observed.

“And you would be right about that,” Rose agreed. 

“Always nice to see a blooming friendship between students,” Storm observed. “Now Dave, would you like to be reacquainted with your cousin?”

“Too late I’m already here,” Dirk announced his arrival entering the kitchen. “I was getting impatient.”

“Dirk,” I greeted Dirk in the regular Strider way.

“Dave,” Dirk replied. “I thought you were dead.”

“I thought you weren’t a mutant,” I retorted.

“Then you’re both wrong,” Rose cut in on the conversation. 

“I’ll leave you two alone to get reacquainted,” Storm stated leaving the room. “Rose?”

“No, I would so like to see this family reunion,” Rose answered staying in her seat. “Whatever I was needed for shall wait. Dirk Strider may just show feelings for once.” 

“Not going to happen,” Dirk informed Rose. 

“Striders don’t show feelings,” I replied. “Our natural mutations that run in the family are a poker face as unbreakable as the Thing’s rocky ass and a sense of irony that would put the idiot who came up with literary terms to shame.”

“Exactly,” Dirk agreed with me. 

“So what are you here for?” I asked pouring myself another glass of apple juice.

“I can control technology,” Dirk demonstrated by turning on and off the lights without even moving. “An all around technopath. You?”

“Time travel,” I answered. “Stopping time, slowing time, speeding time, using the time stream as a personal storage system.”

“Handy,” Dirk observed pouring himself a glass of apple juice. 

“So is life here at the institute good?” I asked him. 

“Warm bed, food, apple juice, awesome technology, a Danger Room full of things to hack at with a sword,” Dirk explained. “We sometimes go out on missions and we get to hack at real evil people with swords.”

“Awesome,” I agreed with that idea. 

“You still have a sword?” Dirk asked me.

“In the time stream,” I answered. “It’ll always be there for me to pick up even if I loose it.”

“Have you ever done any ‘Time Travel’ clichés with yourself?” Dirk then asked.

“No, have you ever done the Nosfuato thing from Spongebob with anyone?” I then asked.

“Hell yeah,” Dirk agreed. We shared a cousinly high-five and turned to Rose who looked quite disappointed with us. 

“Well, you two seemed to have reacquainted quickly despite your prior beliefs,” Rose observed. “Striders will always be an enigma to me.”

Dirk and I both shared a smirk at that statement before Dirk offered, “So do you want a tour of the mansion?” 

“Now that I’ve gotten my apple juice,” I started putting my glass down on the countertop. “Sure.”

“If you two will be off,” Rose got off of her seat. “I bid you ado.” 

“See ya around,” I told Rose as I followed Dirk out of the room. “So what’s first? Is there a pool? There’s got to be a pool. It wouldn’t be a mansion if they didn’t have a pool. Please tell me they have a pool.”

“We don’t have a pool,” Dirk put down my high hopes. 

“Shit, I was looking forward to pausing time and making people just happen to appear in a pool,” I joked. 

“That would have been funny. But you can do that in the Danger Room when we play games,” Dirk answered.

“You play games in the Danger Room? I thought that the Danger Room was dangerous,” I asked.

“Yep, better chance of getting hurt, and a lot cooler than practicing on the rooftop,” Dirk explained.

“Cool,” I remembered battling on the rooftop of the apartment building back in Texas when I was younger. Sure, I always got beaten up, but that didn’t remove the educational purposes from it. 

“Gah!” I cried as we turned the corner and I got attacked by a giant white fluffy beast with green energy cackled around it. I was knocked down on the ground and soon a soft pink tongue was being dragged across my face leaving behind a trail of spit.

“Bec! No! Come here!” a girl’s voice called out. “Bec!”

“Keep your attack wolf under control Harley,” Dirk dragged the white beast off of me. The beast had not collar so Dirk had to wrap his arms around the dog’s chest and then physically drag him a couple feet away from my slobbering body.

“Ew,” I exclaimed as I wiped the thick dog slobber off of my face. 

“Sorry about that,” the girl apologized for her dog. “Bec here just gets excited when he meets new people.”

I looked up to see that the owner of the dog has a black mane of wild hair, and lime green eyes. She wore Harry Potter glasses and had a happy smile dancing across her face. 

“Jade Harley,” the girl introduced herself. 

“Harley? Sounds like a name created by a stupid speech impediment,” I commented.

“Right, I know,” Jade agreed with me. “So who are you? You’re new here right?” 

“Yeah I’m new,” I answered and I greeted myself as I shook her hand. “Dave Strider. Time travel.”

“Cool! I haven’t heard of a mutant with time traveling powers yet,” Jade informed me.

“I’m just one of a kind,” I said proudly. “So what can you do?”

“I can increase or decrease the size and density of any object,” Jade replied. 

“So I bet that getting food at the movie’s cheep when you can just buy the small, then make it bigger,” I guessed. 

“Yeah, but then you have these giant popcorn pieces that barely fit in your mouth,” Jade answered. “And trust me, I’ve tried.”

“So, what’s the furry beast all about?” I asked Jade looking at her dog. 

“Bec? Oh, he’s a mutant too,” Jade began to explain.

“Dogs can be mutants?” I asked surprised. 

“Yeah, Bec can created power bubbles that teleport people away and be used as shields,” Jade explained before kneeling down on the ground to give the white panting dog a good rub. “He’s also smarter than the average dog, aren’t yeah Bec? Yes, that’s right. Good dog, best friend.”

“Cool, so he knows everything we’re saying?” I asked looking at the dog.

“Yep!” Jade answered. Bec started to lick her face and before her face could be covered in a thick coat of spit, Jade stood up. “Well, I’ll leave you two Striders alone to your tour. There are a lot of things to do and people to meet!”

“Right,” Dirk agreed.

“See you around Jade,” I bid my goodbye as Jade continued on down the hallway with Bec at her heels. 

“Cool girl,” I commented.

“Yeah, Jade has her own nuclear physics lab under the mansion too,” dirk added.

“Awesome, a chance of everything exploding at once. Everyone seems to like to live life dangerously, I see?” I joked. 

“No, Jade’s pretty good at making everything all safe,” Dirk explained. “But if the mansion is ever taken over by the enemy, the self-destruct button is found inside Jade’s lab.”

“So a fiery and painful death,” I guessed, but I couldn’t see Xavier to be one to do that kind of thing. 

“It was Logan’s idea,” Dirk continued. “Logan is pretty much responsible for the mansions’ security and enjoys making it especially gory.”

“Hhm,” I thought for a second. “So, so far I’ve met three out of the twenty mutants that are students here. I still have seventeen to go. This is gonna be a long night.”

“Let’s see the Danger Room before you’re trampled by some of the other kids who are just flocking to meet the newest member of the team,” Dirk informed me. I followed him to the bowels (heh, bowels) of the Mansion where I was able to witness a training session in the Danger Room.

And yes, as the name states, it is dangerous. 

Claws and laser and anything deadly shot out of the walls, floor and ceiling and tracked the occupants of the room firing at full blast. Death seemed to be nigh, but they weren’t ordinary lab rats running around in the maze of death. These were mutants with kickass superpowers. People ducked and jumped and destroyed machines and it was just one big piles of awesomeness. 

“You can control the course up here,” Dirk explained running over the machinery. “Flamethrowers, magnets, walls, laser, robotic arms, everything.”

“Everything?” I questioned.

“Everything,” Dirk repeated. “And everyone’s almost done. You can go down and meet them all at once.” 

The ‘training session’ was quickly done with and Dirk brought me down to the prep room where the assembled mutants where getting out of their costumes and introduced me to everyone.

To make things quick, this is how it went down. The people I met were pretty cool. It’s easy to start off with Aradia Megido, the girl who can talk to ghosts. We hit things off pretty quick, talking about dead things and bones and stuff. I knew from the start that we would get along nicely. Aradia’s dubbed Ghoul for her ghostly powers.

Next was the bipolar wonder, Sollux Captor. His mutant powers are telekinesis and the ability to control the internet. However, thanks to his bipolar disorder, there’s an additive third power-splitting into two people. With his additive third power, we get Sol and Lux. Sol get the telekinesis and is the happier of the two, while Lux gets the control of the internet and happen to have the darker thoughts. He has a hard time controlling this splitting of person and powers, but the medicine helps a little bit. Because he’s often split, Sollux’s codename ended up as Double. 

Roxy Lalonde is Rose’s older sister and seems to have more of a mind on partying than her sister. She is still as smart as Rose, but more motivated by fun than reason. Roxy’s good friends with Dirk and is very funny, so she’s alright in my book. She has the power to turn invisible, so on the field everyone calls her Bygone.

Vriska Serket is the crazy spider bitch with the ability to control minds and has only revenge on her mind. Manipulative, cunning, and very, very lucky. Vriska will be able to gamble you out of house and home as well as freak you out while you’re doing this. I was later informed of some rumors that she paralyzed a kid by mind-controlling him to jump off a roof before she got to Xavier. She also, for certain, mind-controled Terezi into looking at the sun wherein Terezi became blind, but her superpowers came in handy.

Terezi Pyrope is the amazing blind chick with the mental power to adapt to any situation. It’s not like if you get cold, then you get more body fat. No, for Terezi it works when she’s in a foreign country where they speak a language she doesn’t speak. Quickly, her brain will adapt so that she speaks that foreign language. How did her mutant power come in handy when she was blinded? Well, since Terezi’s ability to see handicapped her. Her brain made it so that she could taste and smell colors. Now, Terezi gets around fine and kicks ass. She’s also crazy. And ironic. And cool. Yep, we hit it off also. We had already talked about getting together and drawing some really shitty pictures and maybe doing some really ironic role-playing. 

Kanaya Maryam is the classy kickass glowing chick who enjoys spending her free time designing clothes because she is just that classy. Originally from France, Kanaya has adapted an American lifestyle quite well. Her mutant powers are glowing, and that may seem sucky, but remember Zack from Sky High and some of the sticking situations his glowing got him and his friends out of. With her glowing, she got above average strength, speed, and agility, along with the codename Firefly.

I thought I had made it through the crowd when there was someone else left hiding in the back quietly. He was small for his age, sixteen like me. He has dark brown hair and brown eyes that almost seemed red, along caramel skin. An angry look dominated his face as he scowled getting out of his super suit and getting ready to high tail it out of the Danger Room. He had a silver watch on his right wrist and wore a black hoodie as well as grey pants, ready to disappear into a crowd in need be. There was also a certain charm about him that made him seem leaderly, commanding, in charge. Needless to say, it felt as though Romeo just brought one of his cupid metaphors and claimed me to having been a captive in the one-way street called ‘love at first sight’.

Needless to say, i was no Romeo with raging teenage hormones ready to be a good catholic and marry the man of my dreams just so I could fuck him. No, I pretty sure that this one-way street was going to be a bumpy on because when the boy caught me staring, he promptly asked, “What the fuck do you want asshole?” 

This ‘love at first sight’ was going to be a pain in my ass. 

Might as do something that would make Romeo roll around in his grave in one giant undead hissy fit. I was going to have to be a suave as Fabio if I wanted to land the hot mutant. I had to be as cool as Vanilla Ice. I was going to be as hot as Jennifer Lawrence. I was going to do my best to woo him so hard; I would ride to Narnia even if I had to win him. 

“I said what the fuck are you looking at asshole?” he repeated again storming over to me. No one paid attention to this confrontation, except Terezi. 

“N-n-nothing,” I managed to get out. I hit myself in the face with the palm of my hand. Where was future-me to save me from this train wreck?

The boy kept on staring until Terezi came over and saved my poor ass from this sad sight.

“Karkat, I see you’ve met Dave,” Terezi saved me. “Dave, Karkat, Karkat, Dave.”

“Nice to meet you,” I decided to go old school. Karkat didn’t say anything but continued to start at me with his brownish-reddish eyes. 

“Dave Strider’s the new time traveling coolkid Karkles,” Terezi elbowed Karkat in the ribs to try and get his attention. “Dave, Karkat’s the co-leader of our team.”

“Ah, so the boss man,” I started to get my cool back. 

“Yes, and I am forced to say this, and it does pain me to say this, but welcome to the team,” Karkat informed me. “Try not to fuck up and get us all killed.”

“Don’t worry future-me always comes around to save my ass. I bet he won’t mind saving your ass too,” I informed Karkat.

“Sadly,” Karkat replied. Karkat said nothing else but walked out of the room. Looks like this trip to Narnia was going to take a lot more than one magical ride on the back of a magical lion that represented Jesus or something religious like that.

“I thought you were supposed to be a coolkid Dave Strider,” Terezi interrogated me. Her shit-eating grin didn’t fall from her face, and she didn’t speak with disappointment. She spoke her full on cheerful voice with no doubt that I was still a coolkid, just pondering how I failed at trying to woo Karkat. Which was weird, because she was the only one in the room who figured out I was trying to hit on Karkat, and yet she was the only one without sight. It was totally ironic.

I said nothing because I seriously had no idea how I lost my cool.

“What’s Karkat’s problem?” I asked instead.

“He just takes a while to get warmed up to everyone,” Terezi answered. “Me and Karkles didn’t get along at first but now-we’re practically best friends. I watch over his ass on the field and he watches over mine-metaphorically speaking since I can’t see anything! Hehehehe!” 

“And how do I get him to warm up to me?” I then asked. 

“Just act as yourself,” Terezi advised me. “Just give him time. He’ll warm up to you soon enough.”

“Alright,” I took Terezi’s advice. It wouldn’t stop me from traveling down this one-way road, but at least it would help. “So what can Karkat do?”

“No one knows,” Terezi answered. “Not even the Prof! He and his brother are mutants, but no one knows what their powers are.”

“Oh, maybe that’s why he’s so sour,” I guessed. “everyone’s running around with their cool mutant powers fucking people’s shit up and he’s just there with nothing.”

“Karkat’s an amazing fighter though,” Terezi reminded me. “And not all mutant powers are fabulous.”

“Right,” I agreed with that. Before we departed, Terezi had to end it on an awkward note.

“Dave,” Terezi began. “Did you know that you and Karkat both smell like cherry red?”

I had no idea how to respond to that. Thankfully, I didn’t have to because our conversation ended with Terezi’s shit eating grin and her cackling a hyena howl.

Terezi was still pretty cool though even though she was kind creepy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have thought this through and I have decided that Scott and Jean will not be in the story just yet, but they will be. I know that in the X-Men comics, Scott and Jean were Professor X's first students, but I'm going to bend that to make it so that Scott and Jean are Professor X's first students on the X-Men team. XBurb has formed before the X-Men team, and Dave is the team's last member. 
> 
> Also, Dave faking his death. That gives him time to do super-hero stuff and frees him up to do another idea of mine: XBurb Team-Ups! It's basically Dave and some of the other members of XBurb teaming up with various MARVEL superheroes to take down MARVEL villains. And I do love my crossovers.
> 
> Finally, who could be Xavier's strange magical friend Rose was talking about? I also love allusions. They're so cool. 
> 
> Well, onwards to chapter three my friends!


	3. The only thing more dangerous than the Danger Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave faces the only thing more dangerous than the Danger Room: John Egbert.
> 
> Also, Dave gets his first mission upon being on the XBurb Team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter. I'm fine with this one, have fun reading!

The rest of the day went slow as I was introduced to everyone else: Jane; the girl who could heal any wound and cook a mean apple pie, Jake; the naïve kid who often got in trouble adventuring and inspired hope as a power, Rufioh; the incredible Peter Pan with his fairy wings, Mituna; the older brother of Sollux and a very powerful telekinetic mutant, Kankri; the talkative older brother of Karkat that is absolutely and completely Insufferable, Latula; the rad older sister of Terezi who caused major headaches, Aranea; the older sister of Vriska who shares the mind controlling powers but is smarter and has better control of her powers, Cronus; the greaser with the hypnotic singing voice, and Meenah; the totally punk rock girl with gills and above average speed, strength, and agility creating a mean lean fighting machine.

I went to bed later that day in my own room after taking my first shower in a really long time. Karkat kept on surfacing in my mind and plaguing my thoughts until I got sick of being a lovesick Romeo and decided to think about something else. I began to count up how many mutants I had meet today and I realized that I had only meet nineteen of the twenty students. That meant that there was one more mutant lurking around. 

Maybe he didn’t want to show his face. Or maybe he was one much for social interaction. As I tried to come up with a reason for why this twentieth mutant had not shown up that day I drifted off to sleep. The last thing came upon my mind was a vague warning Rose had supplied me with earlier, but suddenly disappeared from my thought as sleep surrounded me and I drifted off into a deep slumber. 

The next morning I woke up and got dressed. For once, I got a good sleep. Dreamless sleep is always a good sleep because there are no nightmares to terrorize your night. 

Waking up at the Mansion felt strange. I felt safe and secure. I hadn’t felt this way in a really long time. On the road I was often found waking up in open and unsafe places. Back home there was always the chance of a surprise morning attack so I always had to be on the top of my game. I was off my guard because of this strange feeling. That feeling lead to the next disaster. 

Half-asleep and unaware, I opened my door, strangely ajar, and a bucket of ice cold water fell on my head. The ice and water dripped down my back shocking me awake and giving me an unexpected shower. I must have jumped three feet in the air, but I at least land nimbly on my feet so no further humiliation was done on to me.

As I removed the bucket from my head, I heard a jolly laughter ring through the air, turning into a heavy laugh as if the old prank was really the funniest thing on the earth.

“Ohmygog!” the boy gasped. He was my age, had square glasses, black hair and a jolly buck-toothed smile. He was doubled over, but the strange thing was, that he was floating. Wind circulated around him as he levitated off the ground, rolling around with the wind as his hammock, bending to his will. “I can’t believe you actually fell for that! I thought you were supposed to be a Strider!”

I felt anger rush up inside of me. it was really just as a reaction to the embarrassment, but before I knew it time was slowing down. Time would seem to be going normal for everyone else around me, but in reality it was slowing time. I was inside the time stream and everything around me was covered with a red light. I looked around and my sword was lying on the ground next to me.

I had lost my sword too many times to count, but since I put it in the time stream, it would always be there for me to grab at any time. I picked up the sword and time sped up to normal speed. As time became normal, I swung my sword right over John’s laughing face, cutting off a few hairs scaring him out of his laughing fit.

“Fuck! Where’d you get the sword!” the boy exclaimed surprised.

“I hid it,” I answered. “So who the fuck are you?”

“John Egbert,” John introduced himself. “Co-Leader of the team, prankster, and manipulator of the wind.”

“You lead the team with Karkat?” I asked confused. Unlike Karkat, John did not have the wind of being a leader one him. He seemed more the like one to get voted ‘the class clown’ in the school year book than lead a team of super-powered mutants. 

“Yeah!” John answered landing on the ground. “I’m more of a friend-leader than a leader-leader like Karkat.”

“Makes sense,” I agreed.

“So you’re new. Who are you?” John asked me.

“Dave Strider, time traveler,” I introduced myself.

“Nice to meet you Dave!” John held out his hand. I mistakenly shook it as a sign of good gesture. Instead, all I got was a shock up the spine from the deadly joy buzzer.

“Hahaha!” John laughed as I glared at him. The prankster strikes again. I was already to go full ninja on him when I had the ingenious idea of beating the prankster at his own game. 

I slowed time again and threw the sword back with the other one, so I now had two swords on hand. I leaned down and quickly tied John’s shoelaces together. He wouldn’t know what hit him because to him, I was moving at lightning speeds.

When I brought the speed of time back to normal, John didn’t suspect anything.

“Did you just flinch?” John asked me.

“No,” I replied. “Hey, we get breakfast here, right?”

“Totally!” John replied. 

“Can you show me where the kitchen is?” I asked him innocently.

“Sure!” John agreed. He took one step forward and fell flat on his face. “Hey! How’d you tie my shoelaces together?”

“I control time,” I replied. “I don’t just travel through it.”

“Cheater,” John pouted as he untied his shoelaces.

“Oh and pranking is fair?” I replied.

“Pranking is pranking,” John replies standing up. “But don’t worry; I have a few tricks up my own sleeve.”

“Hey, you pranked me twice, and I pranked you once, I say we’re unevenly fair,” I replied, not trying to start anything. 

“No one pranks the pranker!” John declared triumphantly. 

“No one messes with a Strider,” I answered. “So are we going to breakfast or what?”

“Sure!” John agreed. “But don’t think that I’m going to forget this.”

“I’m not betting on it,” I replied. I followed John down to the kitchen. The kitchen was unsurprisingly filled with hungry mutants, all whom have had their fill with still plenty more left to eat. 

I grabbed a pile of food, as hungry as four neon-colored hungry, hungry, hippos and sat down at an open spot between Rose and Terezi. As I sat down, I was not surprised when my plush rump was stopped from making contact with the butt of the chair by a red whoopee cushion. The farting noise came out, but was drowned by the excited morning talk before everyone departed to school. I pulled whoopee cushion from underneath my ass and threw it behind my head as John giggled from across the table. 

“John?” Rose questioned.

“Yep,” I answered before digging in.

“I warned you,” Rose informed me of the ‘I told you so’ I deserved.

“I know,” I grumbled back.

Breakfast continued on, and before everyone was going to part their ways Xavier came into the kitchen with Storm and a scary man called Logan following him.

“Students, there seems to be a problem,” Xavier began. “A mutant known as the Vanisher has been teleporting into museums undetected and stealing important artifacts before teleporting miles away to a secret hideout.”

“Isn’t’ this the police’s business?” I asked, new to this situation.

“It could be,” Xavier answered. “But we don’t want the news about mutants reaching the press yet. It is better that we deal with rogue mutants like these ourselves before we let the police handle them.”

“Do we know where he’s going to hit next?” Aranea asked curiously.

“No,” Xavier answered. “But I have a feeling he’s going to try something bigger since his last heists were successful. We must try to find his hiding spot and stop him before things get out of hand.”

“But if we attack his hide-out he’ll just teleport away so we won’t be able to get him,” Aradia pointed out.

“And how would be even find his hideout?” Mituna asked. 

“I have that all planned out,” Xavier answered. “Just be ready to suit up when you return from school.”

The meeting was over and everyone departed. I was left behind with my breakfast as Storm, Xavier, and Logan were also leaving with the crowd. I felt kinda empty now that I was all alone and no one was here to talk to me. If all my days at the Mansion were going to be like this, it was going to be a boring existence. There was always the Danger Room, but that wasn’t going to make me happy forever.

I sadly continued on with my breakfast before Xavier paused from exiting the room.

“And Dave?” Xavier started. I looked up as I chewed my food and Xavier continued now that he had my attention. “I have a special mission for you. Come with me.”

Xavier left the room and I got up and ran after him. He went into the study where as he entered, one of the walls of the study moved up to reveal a large piece of machinery.

“Dave, this piece of machinery is Cerebro,” Xavier began to explain. “It finds new mutants when their powers have just manifested, and amplifies my telepathic ability.”

“So this is how you found me?” I guessed.

“No,” Xavier answered. “Your powers manifested long before I got wind of your existence. Faking your own death helped you to hide yourself from the public and the mind’s eye.”

“So how did you find me?” I asked confused.

“Time travel is a fickle thing Dave,” Xavier continued. “You yourself know that.”

“Time travel seems pretty clear to me,” I replied. “It’s probably just because I just grew up understanding how time works. Part of my mutant power, or something like that.”

“Yes,” Xavier agreed. “Well, I found you because you yourself told me where I would find you. That may be confusing-”

“So Future-Dave told Past-Xavier where to find Past-Dave?” I asked using my own time travel terms.

“Exactly,” Xavier agreed.

“So I need to go back in time and tell you where you should find myself?” I then asked.

“Yes,” Xavier continued. “And at the time when I was approached by Future-Dave, as you said yourself, I was investigating the Vanisher’s last break-in.”

“So I have the mission to go into the past, tell you where to find me, and try and find where the Vanisher was hanging out without actually taking him on,” I guessed. 

“Very good Mr. Strider,” Xavier replied. He rolled over to the couch where there was a white box. He handed it to me and continued explaining. “You understand your mission. Find the Vanisher’s hide-out and tell me where I would find the past Dave.”

“What’s this? A welcoming gift?” I asked looking at the box. 

“Somewhat,” Xavier answered. “Open it.”

I opened the box and inside was my own super suit, dark blue with a red cog symbol on it.

“That is what you were wearing when I saw you for the first time,” Xavier explained. “I would suggest that you put that on before embarking on your mission.”

“It’s strange how some ideas are never actually thought of, but the time stream just makes them because you either hear or see an idea, then you just translate it to your present time,” I tried to explain looking at the super suit.

“Yes, it is strange,” Xavier agreed. “And good luck.”

I ran to my room, changed into my costume, and I was off on my first mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh heh heh! The Vanisher! An actual X-Men villain from the 60's! I was looking through the X-Men Ultimate Guide and X-Men Evolution left out a lot of great villains! They mostly just focused on Magneto, the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, Mystique, and then finally at the of the run, Apocalypse in X-Men Evolution. They were then going to bring in Emma Frost and maybe the rest of the Hellfire Club, and also the Dark Phoenix Saga, but they never got around to that!
> 
> Some other cool things they left out are Sinister, Weapon X, and Mojo! Those things got picked up by Wolverine and the X-Men, but are still cool so they are totally going to be added into this comic.
> 
> Both series left out the Savage Land with Ka-Zar, Zabu, Sauron, and Garokk as well as the Shi'ar, sadly. However, I get to throw them in here too along with other 60's villains like Mimic, and Changeling-the male version of Mystique that came before her lacking the blue skin. There's also Brood, and villains from the 90's like Deadpool and Lady Deathstrike. It'll just be a lot of fun along with the recruitment of Scott and Jean, the mutantized villains of the Midnight Crew and the Felt, along with a mutant-mastermind Andrew Hussie who's power is that his narration becomes reality!
> 
> (We all know that if Andrew Hussie was a villain he would be some type of Mojo) 
> 
> So in conclusion, I'm including all of the above villains in my story. I have the entire first book in the series planned out. Well, we just have to deal with the Vanisher first. His plot line will be similar to that in the comics, but with a Homestuck twist. Onto the next chapter!


	4. Chchchchchanges (like the David Bowie song or if you're into stuff like that, Shrek 2)

                Hey, long time no see! So, it’s been like two years since I’ve even touched it, and a lot has gone into that. Probably the first biggest thing was that I’ve moved on from Homestuck. I still love it and I’m still hanging on with the story, but not much creative stuff is coming out of that. I’m still writing, mainly Fairy Tail and a little of Yogscast or Red Vs Blue stuff (so if you like that stuff, check it out, since a little shameless self-promotion can’t be too harmful), and I have yet to fully complete more than one multi-chapter story. The other thing that was in like, early 2014, I accidentally deleted half of my Homestuck files, that had all of my XBurb and Bane of Skaia and Snogging stuff, and that just left me . . . demotivated, so I didn’t touch that stuff because it just made me feel depressed and angry at myself.

                However, this story is not dead! Someone actually offered to continue this story and we’ve been talking, I got them in on the plot I had planned, and they’re going to start posting new chapters! I’m confident that they’ll do a great job with this story, so if you’re still interested, go and check that out! They’re calling it [XBurb: the continuation](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11560948/1/Xburb-the-continuation) on fanfiction, you can find them under animecscfun1. Go and check them out! And also, thank-you for reading and I hope you enjoy what they’re doing.


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